


moments in a quiet kitchen.

by lovevalley45



Series: what to expect when you're expecting - 35th edition [2]
Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fake Marriage, Postpartum Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-12-13 23:30:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21005963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovevalley45/pseuds/lovevalley45
Summary: Finally, he breaks the silence. “You could talk about it, you know?”





	moments in a quiet kitchen.

**Author's Note:**

> another fictober prompt i'm posting on here except sike it's not zava for once
> 
> part of the sp!au which i have supposedly dropped yet,,,, here i am,,, still writing ficlets for it
> 
> this is definitely sadder than a lot of stuff i like to post but sometimes i gotta break the mold ya know. sorry i feel like i'm being a little too lighthearted but ya know

It’s late. Actually, it’s early, way too early.

Audrey’s already been put back to bed, but Zari isn’t. Instead, she’s downstairs, sitting on the kitchen floor.

She closes her eyes, tipping her head against the back of the fridge. It’s not like she hasn’t tried to sleep, but she just  _ can’t _ . 

Postpartum depression, the words replay in her mind. A name for the way she just feels so off, not like herself. But she hasn’t felt like herself since she moved into this apartment, 25 years away from her family.

Zari listens to the hum of the fridge, trying not to think about the empty feeling in her gut. It’s only been a few weeks since Audrey was born, not even a month yet. She just wishes it didn’t feel like  _ this _ , like time was inching by and she was watching it trickle. 

Footsteps overshadow the quiet hum, and she opens her eyes to see Nate walking down the stairs.

“You okay?” he asks, walking into the kitchen and setting the baby monitor down on the counter. 

“No,” she whispers, watching him slide down to join her.

Nate wraps an arm around her shoulders. The urge to cry is back again, to melt into a puddle onto the floor and maybe then she’d feel better. All she can do, though, is lean her head on her shoulder and scoot closer.

They stay like that for a while, not saying anything. Zari doesn’t feel like talking, really, so it’s a good deal for her. He’s warm, the fabric of his faded Yale sweatshirt soft against her cheek. 

Finally, he breaks the silence. “You could talk about it, you know?”

She closes her eyes, squeezes them tight. “I don’t even know where to start.”

“That’s okay,” Nate mutters, rubbing his thumb against her arm. “I’m just… worried, Z.”

The dam breaks, tears spilling down her cheek. “Shit, I don’t-” She takes in a shaky breath, clenching her fists. “It’s like there’s this giant hole in my chest, and everything feels…  _ wrong _ . I can’t describe it, it’s just-” The words get stuck in her throat, choking out a sob instead. She hates this, feeling so fucking vulnerable. It’s been months since they got together, but that fear of putting herself out still makes it hard to let her walls down sometimes.

“Hey,” he says, holding her close. “I’m here.”

Zari wipes her eyes, sighing. “It’s just not fair,” she whispers. “Everyone wants me to be this happy, glowing mom but I can’t, Nate. I love Audrey, but then she cries, and I can’t get her to stop and-” She stops to swallow down another sob, knowing she’s talking too fast but it all just comes rushing out. “And I feel like I’m failing.”

“You’re not failing,” Nate reassures her. “And you know, I worry too.”

She looks up at him. “Because of your dad,” she says. 

“Look, we have to do this together,” he tells her. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to go through this alone. You have me, the Legends, and if it ever gets too much, we can always find a therapist or something.” 

Zari sniffles. “You’re a good fake husband, you know that?”

Nate smiles. “I try my best.” He pats her shoulder. “Up for getting back in bed?”

“Sure,” she tells him. “Just try not to steal all the covers, alright?”

“No promises.”

**Author's Note:**

> link to the actual post ig: https://lovevalley45.tumblr.com/post/188472575747/fictober19-day-20


End file.
